Cohabitation has increased by nearly 900 percent over the last 50 years and has become the ultimate test drive for couples before walking down the aisle. However, moving in together comes with its fair share of revelations. Mostly, about your partner. Living in the same space may expose some of their pet peeves, ones that were impossible to spot just by spending a few evenings together each week. Or the two of you can defy all the non-believers and you might discover you love cuddling after waking up even if you're not a morning person.
Interested in how people are handling this relationship milestone, Redditor CrumbleNewman asked other users: "Couples who have moved in together, what surprised you most about living with a male/female?" And everyone quickly jumped to the comments. As of this article, the post has 22.5K comments to go along with its 55K upvotes, and here are some of the answers.
#1I was told that we would start arguing and being miserable. It ended up feeling like a super awesome constant sleep over. Don't let people scare you into not moving in with a significant other if that is what you both want.
Image credits: TheKindlyNarcissist
#2What an absolute master chef he is! I thought I was a great cook until we moved in together and he started making meals. Blew my f**king mind!
Now I think back to when we first started dating and he would eat my cooking and say it was the best he'd ever had, the little liar. Brings a smile to my face!
#3Apparently my cat — who I raised since she was a kitten and loved more than life itself — is more than willing to abandon me and love someone else far more in the blink of an eye.
Image credits: _banana_panda_
#4After living with him for 4 years, I opened a drawer of "his" dresser... And it was empty. All of it. Apparently he thought it was my extra dresser.
He doesn't use a dresser. Clothes get washed and put into a "clean clothes" hamper. He puts socks and underwear in his bedside table.
Now I'm wondering what other furniture in our house is empty??
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#5How different our versions of ‘clean’ are.
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#6I learned about just how good she looks first thing in the morning light, when she makes her toast, leans against the counter, and just crunches into it...also, how she can fill up an entire room with farts.
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#7That your partner may follow you around the house, just because.
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#8I always knew women went through TP faster than men, but I never knew how much faster they did. It got to the point, I'd just grab a pack of TP whenever I went to the store for any reason. We may not be out at home, but we will be soon I reckoned, and I was never wrong about that.
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No but real answer is how LOUD he needs things to be. Every song/movie/whatever has to be heard from three rooms over.
#10How hard it is to get up in the morning when you have someone to snug
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#11It's actually really hard to effectively shower with another person.
#12I once pulled Chewbacca out of the bathroom sink.
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#13I thought if I ever moved in with a girl, I'd have to be way less of a slob. Turns out I'm the neat freak in this relationship.
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#14How fast we both gained weight.
#15Learning that there’s a wrong way to fold towels apparently
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#16I had exactly two pillows in my entire house before my (now) wife moved in. She has four just on her side of the bed. There are pillows on the couch. Every chair has a pillow. We have a closet where the top shelf is more pillows.
So many f**king pillows.
Image credits: TheFire_Eagle
#17For me, how subtle the need for alone time crept up on me. I wasn't unhappy in the slightest and moving in was natural. But over time I felt myself becoming irritable and it turned out that I tend to get that way when I don't have time to myself, because I went from being alone in my room after work in my parent's house to being around my SO pretty much every minute I'm not at work or driving, so I found myself with someone almost 24/7, and it took a toll. Thankfully once I recognized that, it was easier to manage
Image credits: OperativePiGuy
#18If you and your partner are in different rooms one of them will randomly decide to just "check in" by opening the door, smile and then going back to their separate room.
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#19Definitely the food, I’d eat ramen and canned foods all the time when I was living alone. Now I get spoiled with home cooked food. the best part though is she’s been teaching me to cook, I love our cooking school sessions after work.
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#20she's good at playing tetris and very organized
I was living with my parents since I traveled for work and only made it home one or two weekends a month. she moved in with me at my parent's house, we had one room to store stuff; my bedroom. we bought things we'd need when we moved out when we saw a deal too good to pass up and she stored them
I realized she was good when we had to make 4 trips to get all our stuff out. 4 trips. this girl had boxes inside boxes inside boxes. she utilized every inch available in our room to stack items.
we just bought a house and still have some boxes left to unpack. I will call her at work and say something like "hey, do you remember that blue paper clip I like to use? I can't find it." she will tell me which room, which box, what container, and what is beside it, just in case I still can't find it.
#21The true shock for me was the sheer amount of time my husband spends in the lavatory.
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#22How specific I have to be when giving instructions to do something. Like instead of saying “wash the sheets” I have to say “wash and dry the sheets and pillowcases and put new sheets on the bed”
#23His ability to be doing nothing. He can lay on the couch and stare at the ceiling and do nothing and think nothing. and he enjoys it. I would pull a muscle or pop something from the strain if i tried to do that
Image credits: Flamingonotgone
#24I have never ONCE observed my wife put a bobby pin in her hair...yet I have found thousands of bobby pins in our house.
#25My wife has really long beautiful hair. I was not prepared to find that all in my butt and crotch regions as often as I do. I could never be prepared to have one stuck in my a*s and have to pull it out like some mangy dog. I've never felt more violated or unclean than when I FELT those hairs basically floss my lower GI tract. Somehow I swallowed a few and passing them is a really disgusting feeling. She has told me that hasn't happened to her too which makes it weirder.
Image credits: DrDisastor
#26Having a HELPER... I'm always fixing or building something and as it turns out my GF is always ready to be a great helper!
She's like the kid I don't have. Pass me this, hold this, did you learn anything, think you could do that yourself in the future? It's more fun to share a project and teach than it is to accomplish by myself anyway. I think it's good for both of us.
But seeing tiny black rubber bands showing up all over the floor is a downside lol... I think she uses them for her hair.
#27Men are incredibly warm and sweaty while asleep, and will be sticky if they hug you as you sleep together.
Image credits: Katzimir_Malevich
#28She works from home, but the television never leaves Bravo. I leave for work, Bravo. Come home, Bravo. Go on the elliptical, Bravo. 24 fucking hours of these catty women (and sometimes men) yelling at each other. Bravo always being on is like the only thing we fight about, which is probably a good thing, but Jesus Christ, always with the Bravo.
Even when I entertain her and say "What show is this?"
"Oh, Southern Charm. I don't really watch that show."
Well guess what, I've seen 50 episodes of Southern Charm passively when I come home and I know you've done 20x that. Goddamn it I hate Bravo, I'm getting a divorce.
#29He thinks it's weird that I give any house spiders a Hispanic sounding name.
So far I've used Hector, Ernesto, Ignacio... They've become my buddies. If they stay in their corners and leave me alone of course.
#30Me and my fiancé moved in together about a year before she passed away in a car accident and the one thing I can truly remember being surprised about is how much more open we were with each other about anything. I have OCD and she never got to see how bad my panic attack could be until we moved in. She was so scared the first time that she called my Momma who I Love dearly and has always been my source and strength even today, and asked how she could help me. Having OCD sometimes you may feel something bad can happen if you tell what you are obsessing about. To this day I don't know what my mom told her but Momma then Kayla could always tell when an obsession was building and she got great about quelling the problem before it began. Spending all that time with her now we were moved in helped me become most aware and attuned to her needs and desires as a woman. I knew what upset her even if she didn't tell me. And all the little taboos when you first enter a relationship such as bathroom habits and personal problems became a thing of the past. It got to a point where I could talk to her about anything and everything. It's been almost 7 years since I lost her and I haven't had a relationship since her. I still mourn for her. I love you baby.
#31Well this is obviously for straight people but I’ll answer anyways. Being part of a same sex couple of similar size means your wardrobes kinda morph into one.
“Are you wearing my boxers?!”
“Yeah but you’re wearing my favorite jeans right now so...”
#32Those hat things girls make with towels after a shower....their hair goes in the middle of it.....who knew?
#33Everything went extremely smooth with my girlfriend and I. I attest that to having almost equal levels of cleanliness standards. I see a lot of people commenting on that and I feel very blessed that hasn't been an issue in my life. Don't know how I got so lucky with that.
But what surprises me and what I fail to understand is the vast amount of time she spends getting ready. I try to understand, but I just don't. She looks beautiful all of the time, but spends an hour and a half to two hours before going out making herself look nice. She looks incredible when shes done of course! But the whole process stresses her out and she has quoted it as a reason why she doesn't want to go out sometimes.
Even during little outings with friends she spends the same amount of time getting ready. I'm a numbers type person. That would be just too many of my seconds spent on this Earth looking nice for other people I'm not trying to physically attract. I don't press her about it because she has said its just something she wants/needs to do.
#34the amount of time you spend shouting "WHAAT?" from different rooms in the house.
#35How much I actually talk to myself.
I never had any roommates, aside from one for like the first two weeks in college before I got moved to a single room, so I was used to just talking to myself out loud like nothing. After we moved in together and she kept asking "Who are you talking to?" and "Did you say something?" I realized that I actually talk to myself quite a bit.
#36How often I'd be helping her find her car keys.
Eventually, I put up a hook that I was able to get her in the habit of using.
Made me tear up a little at the time, but a couple weeks after we split I remember getting a text from her that said "I miss being able to find my keys."
#37For me it was that my boyfriend sheds leg hair. EVERYWHERE
Image credits: CrumbleNewman
#38Having to tell him to do EVERYTHING, pick up his rubbish, tidy up, feed the dog, do the dishes, shut the door when the heater is on, close the blinds at night. I'm not usually a nag and have tried 'letting it go' to see what happens and we end up living in a dump
#39The pet peeves you never knew were there. For example, he doesn't like when I leave egg shells in the sink without pushing it into the garbage disposable. I don't like when he keeps getting new glasses of water because he misplaced his glass from an hour ago. They're little things, but I was so surprised how passionate I was about glassware.
#40That I can't just lay down and go to sleep when it's time. There absolutely must be 20 minutes worth of light and noises from the master bathroom while the wife "preps" for bed (taking makeup off, fixing hair, brushing teeth, etc.).
Oh, and when she does crawl into bed, turns the lights out, and says "I love you" I have to be awake enough to say it back.
Honestly, I may joke about it, but in the long run when one of us passes on before the other, those'll be things we miss, and absolutely cherish.
#41The different definitions of "Decorated". I thought a couple pictures and a plant or two was decorated. She wants like 3 things per wall with all kinds of trinkets, souvenirs, and more that all have to "match" some "style" we're going for...
#42Everything has a decorative pillow on it. They are too small to be used for anything, and I'm not allowed to throw them on the floor or pile them all on one chair. The bed has a bunch, and a long tube thing. I'm not allowed to wack her with the tube thing.
Where did these come from? Why do we need them? If they're just in the way, can we put them in storage? No? Ok, babe - whatever you want.
#43His brain doesn't work like my brain. I try daily to accept this. I've been working on it since 2006.
#44I don't think men understand how water works.
I grew up with a brother, lived with a good male friend for over a year and have currently lived with my partner for about 4 years.
Why is water (or indeed any liquid) such a difficult thing for them to understand?
Every single one of them has somehow managed to leave the bathroom soaking wet after showering. My boyfriend leaves the shower on for ages before he gets in and I thought it was so he could shit at first but I'm pretty certain he's actually just hosing down the bathroom for a bit (probably to clean up all the piss he sprays around the room during the middle of the night).
Following showers I've never seen any of them hang a towel up in any kind of situation where it can properly dry. This also goes for putting washing on the clothes horse. I have done research (asked my sister in law) and my brother is still incapable of doing this.
This last one is singular to my Boyfriend as far as I know; the washing up water goes EVERYWHERE. Not just a puddle next to the sink but there have been puddles meters away.
I just don't get it.
#45That one day they will eventually forget to flush a big dump not not check to see if a flushed one went down completely.
And that one day, you'll find it and things change forever.
#46Been together 8 years. Living together for 7. My girlfriend is tiny. So at the two year mark when the occasional poot noises started happening it made sense. Oh she's finally comfortable farting around me and because she's so small it's so tiny. Mine are man farts. Loud, poorly timed, and questionable damp. Throughout the years she has become more and more comfortable. The farts got longer, louder, and more frequent. These days at any given time she can let out what can only be described as a rectal battle cry. The kind that instills fear in an enemy and pure bloodthirst in an ally. She farts so loud and so violently. I assume her butthole speaks some ancient Nordic language long forgotten. Where in that tiny little body can so much gas be stored. Where was she sneaking these farts out early on? And why....why do they smell so f**king bad.
#47That eventually they stop listening to you and you possibly stop listening to them. You get comfortable, too comfortable and forget that this person, your person, needs you to not be checked out even if they are just spouting random internet stories. That is what surprises me. You think living together = being closer... it doesn't.
#48No matter how long you've been together, or have known each other, you truly don't know the person. I still love my husband dearly, but I wish he knew what the laundry hamper is.
#49I was surprised by the number of fights that could be prevented by just asking them to do the thing (instead of getting mad that it didn't get done). Oh, and requesting that the same be done for you.
Flip side: you really want to get to a point where you do stuff without being asked all the time (because, equality of emotional labor), but that part takes practice! haha
#50Having to time/gauge your hunger with theirs.
My husband unintentionally fasts like a 17 year old model trying out for the Victoria Secret fashion show. He never. eats. anything. I’m convinced his entire daily calorie intake is from beer. He goes all day without eating a thing, then announces “I’m starving!” at 3 pm- like yeah, no shit!!
Meanwhile I’m a snacky mcgrazer hobbit eating little meals around the clock. I guarantee I consume more calories than he does. It’s maddening to try to keep up with him in terms of starving myself and then suddenly eating one meal for the day. Especially now that I’m pregnant, it has become a logistical nightmare to sync up our hunger and desire to eat. JUST EAT LIKE I DO DAMMIT!
#51Just how much where a woman is in her menstrual cycle affects her mood. I honestly thought PMS was kind of a myth before moving in with the first woman I lived with. Like I didn't think it was completely made up, but I thought the degree of the effect was overblown. Not really though. They can blow up at you for literally nothing, realize they're being irrational and still do it anyway with conviction. If you're lucky they might apologize like a week later, but that's more the exception. And it's not just like it's just one sort of mood it causes at this one specific point either. There are a whole range of emotional effects, positive and negative (but mostly negative), and they occur before, during and after her period. The quick to anger one is just the most unpleasant and well known. I can't imagine having to live like that though. I thank my lucky stars every day I don't have a vagina.
#52Clothes cover our bedroom floor. Clean, Dirty, in between, all of her clothes are everywhere as she prefers to use the "pile system" in favour of the "drawer system" I prefer
#53A lot of it’s been mentioned. Bobby pins everywhere. Hair everywhere. She was not a clean person. I did the cleaning.
But one thing that hasn’t been mentioned is just the sheer amount accessories that she had! Tons of makeup and beauty products. A vanity full of of it. Plus more. Lots of clothes. Tons of clothes she didn’t wear.
#54I always thought of women as tidy and organized. That was until I moved in with one. I swear I spend 20 minutes a day helping SO tidy up the mess she creates in the first hour every morning. Then another 10 minutes every day searching for brushes, hairbands, make-up, clothes etc.
#55I had always left the seat up. For years. She fell in the toilet our first week living together. The fight was pretty good. She insisted that I put the seat down, I insisted that she look at the toilet before sitting on it.
#56He peed in the sink. That’s all.
#57The male depth perception of a clothes basket is naturally skewed. The clothes in question therefore end up beside said clothes basket rather than in it.
#58How many cups accumulate in our bedroom. It's extremely gross.
#59My ex used a freakin planet worth of earbuds (Q-tips). Like seriously, I would clean the bathroom, the next day, 6 of them are sitting out having been used. GOD FORBID I forgot about them because the next day its 15 sitting out. Im pretty sure she is living happy somewhere with her lovely BF single handedly killing the planet with her fucking ear gunk on those little wooly bastards. She needs reusable ones for any chance of our survival.
#60He doesn't take the initiative to kill the creepy crawlies that waywardly stray into our apartment. If he sees a house centipede he looks at it, then promptly turns tail and walks away. Won't even tell me the damn thing is there.
I'm a girl who grew up having to call dad to kill spiders and bugs and s**t so it's weird that I now have to be the one to viciously murder every insect who comes inside.